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Hi Firstly stop beating yourself up. Who are you in the inside? If you like that person than half the battle is won. I'm bi and was married for over 20 years. My husband loved hearing about my fantasies of other women and encouraged me to explore that side of myself. I did it alone and we played together some too. (this aspect of our lives had nothing to do with our divorce our sex life was actually one of the best parts of our marriage lol). And don't blame your weight on not being with a woman. I'm in a committed relationship with a woman now (going on years she's a lesbian and I'm bi) and she's very overweight. That's one great thing about women we really do care about what's going on inside (in my experience). There obviously has to be a sexual attraction but we're smart enough to know that having all the right parts and knowing how to use them is the really important thing. Sexy comes from within your attitude, your demeanor, your eyes, what you say, how you say it. Give yourself a break but be realistic. A new is a huge life-changing thing. My advice is to have a chat with your husband. If the is there, as you say, it should be easy to have a sit down with him and let him know how you're feeling. Getting on the same is paramount after that you can decide what direction to go. But remember no lying, no cheating that'll only cause huge problems. Good luck.
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